Yes, those of you who know me know that I have two loves in my life, outside of my love life, where there is only one. My first true love is food. My second true love is turning food into obscene quantities of excess energy, and using that energy to annoy, pester, and irritate my friends. Thankfully triathlons have helped me harness that energy into a more or less safe and stable form, usually leaving me a mere shell of my former irritating self. Also, they helps me stay fit and trim, warding off the terrifying return of sophmore year Fat Gered.
But still I wonder... where does all that energy come from in the first place? Some people eat lots of food and do nothing more with it than store it in their bums (ahem, Brett). Well, just the other day I was sitting in an independent coffee shop with my MacBook Pro, 'reading' the NY Times online and sipping a soy machiatto amongst a legion of duchie Berkley hipster flunkies when i came accross this article:
The Human Body is Built for Distance
All you really have to do is read the title and be enlightened by the following facts:
1. The average human being has the glycogen stores to run 20 miles without thinking, training, or ever even lacing up a running shoe to go for an after work jog.
2. Human beings are different from other animals. No, it is not our keen intellect. It is our ability to RUN 20 FRICKIN MILES WITHOUT EVEN TRYING. No other animal on the planet can run this far in one shot. Not horses. Not chettas. Not even emus.
3. We can run 20 miles because that is what WE HAD TO DO to CHASE OUR DINNER DOWN AND KILL IT. Yes. Before the rock, spear, bow and arrow, and elephant gun, human beings chased after their DINNER until it DROPPED DEAD before they did.
Our coach Will is always talking about some nonsense called the Paleo Diet. What this diet preaches is not a mantra of Jenny Craig branded calorie controlled freezer pucks but rather the idea that 'if you can't pick it, don't eat it.' Or, if it comes out of the ground or off a tree, then you should feel pretty good about putting it into your body in place of twinkies, ho hos, ding dongs, gummy bears, and so forth. Well Will, I heart your paleo diet. My butt has never felt better. But I want to add one more thing to it, and leave you all with (hopefully) something to chew on:
IF YOU CAN RUN IT DOWN AND HIT IT OVER THE HEAD WITH A STICK, THEN YOU DESERVE TO EAT IT.
So, for all you MacBook owners out there who think that Bambi is too cute to eat, go back to your freezer burned black bean Boca Burgers. All I can say is MORE FOR MEAT! Who's with me???